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Chapel News
Perks of being over 50!
by Head Chaplain DD Hayes
There are several perks to being over 50. Here are a few fun ones to ponder:
Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
No one expects you to run - anywhere.
People call at 9pm and ask, "Did I wake you?"
People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. They think you could actually be ill.
There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
Things you buy now won't wear out. What does a "life-time warranty" mean to a 90-year-old?
You can eat supper at 4:00pm.
You can live without sex but not your glasses.
You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
Speed limits no longer give you a challenge.
You quit trying to hold your stomach.
You sing along with elevator music.
Your eyes won't get much worse.
Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
Your body joints are now more accurate than the National Weather Service.
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
And you can't even remember where you saw this list. (Wit and Wisdom)